Big boi sports convo
Monday, August 4, 2014
Saturday, August 17, 2013
DAMN YOU STINK!
“Damn you stink man! Can’t you smell that? That’s you homie,
that’s you smelling like ass!” I’m sure as an average everyday big guy you
probably don’t have friends as bold with their opinions as mine. My friends
will tell you about yourself in a minute! It’s just their nature.
As an overweight guy it’s important to remember that big
guys sweat a lot more than the average person. Because of this we as big
brothas need to take extra precautions to prevent funk. Don’t worry big homie I
got you covered! Below I have a list that will guarantee you stay as Outkast would want, SO FRESH AND SO
CLEAN!
1.
REGULAR DEODORANT WAS NOT DESIGNED FOR REALLY
BIG GUYS: Ok I dig those really cool little speed stick deodorizers too. I
agree they are cheap and light. But if they leave you funky less than an hour
later what good are they. Try Old Spice dry rub for your underarms. I promise
it will keep you smelling good for hours.
2.
SHOE POWDER IS A MUST!: If you’re a rather large
guy like myself you know that even though you may not smell them from up high
your feet will come back to stink out the room when you slide your shoes off. A
healthy dose of foot deodorant can give you the extra security you need.
3.
THE BIGGER THE ASS THE MORE YOU COULD HAVE
MISSED!: I don’t mean to be rude here but a lot of big folks problem comes from
not wiping properly or thoroughly. If you’re a really large guy it may take
longer but you must make sure you have wiped and removed the access waste that
can sometimes get stuck to your butt or legs. I know it’s a sensitive subject
but the poop you miss doesn’t stay there it moves around and up the crack so
please take the extra time if you have to but get ‘er done right!
4.
BEHIND YOUR EARS HAVE DIRT!: Like most big guys
who have big necks sweat tends to build behind your neck and ears. This happens
to all people but if you have access fat in those areas you need to concentrate
some attention to those areas. Good old soap and water will help but in order
to keep funk of the neck and ears at bay try a q-tip and alcohol. I promise you
nothing like a small q-tip with black at the end will prove to you how much you
perspire in these areas.
5.
BELLY HOLES STINK HOMIE!: O.k. yet another
sensitive area but one that desperately needs attention. If you have the kind
of belly that hides your button you need to wash the cave with a soapy towel
followed by a Q-tip. The bile that comes out of a belly button can truly ruin
all of the hard work that you put into being fresh.
THE "N" WORD IT'S JUST A DAMN WORD!
It’s been a few days
now since I thought about this topic and I wanted to speak on it now. Its 2013,
why is the “N” word such a hot button topic still? If you have read the sports
page lately you have no doubt seen the article about Riley Cooper, the wide
receiver for the Philadelphia Eagles and the video that shows him using the “n”
word. Apparently he was at a concert and had a few too many drinks. The result
was an encounter caught on tape that shows him using the six letter word to
describe a group of people. Cooper apologized repeatedly about the use of the
word and vowed to be more aware of his language and behavior in the future.
The story was fairly big
with teammates both supporting and denouncing the Eagle wide out. One player
was quoted as saying I accept his apology but I can never respect him again. Whenever
I turned the news on there was harsh criticism of Cooper and his actions
everywhere. Get this, the Eagles front office even went so far as to have
Cooper attend culture sensitivity classes and take a break from camp! I thought
to myself “wow here we are damn near the Jetsons out here and the “N” word is
so damn controversial?”
When I was growing up
we threw the “N” word around like it was any other phrase. My grandmother and
father used the word themselves. Back then there was no problem using the word
if you were black. I was told that “hey, that word is terrible if said by other
races but not us.” For us African Americans the word is a term of endearment of
social what upness if you will. I have friends from all nationalities and I can
say without a shadow of a doubt they have said the word. No doubt about it but
when in my presence they would try not to say the word. I would assume that
they figured it would be offensive to me based on who is saying it. I get it
but I don’t get it. IT’S JUST A DAMN WORD!
Why on earth do we
give such power to words? We live in a different time folks. Gone are the days
when one race’s point of view so dominated the other that they had POWER over
them. IT’S JUST A DAMN WORD. Richard Pryor said the word Nigger 20 million
times in his career and what did we call him? GENIUS! Average white guy says the
word nigger and he is the most racist person on the planet. IT’S JUST A DAMN
WORD! Why are we so scared of words in this free society, I just don’t get it.
Especially since the word is being used when no one else is there. Let me give
you an example. Tupac Shakur was one of the most popular rappers of his time.
All Eyez On Me became one of the most successful albums in the history of rap!
Millions of people went to the store and bought the CD. As they played the disc
they sang along with the music. There is no way in hell that when white folks
or any other nationality got to certain sections of the song they didn’t say
the word nigger in their car singing along to his lyrics! IT’S JUST A DAMN
WORD!
People give words
power. What if the word Nigger had no power what so ever? What if it was just
another word in the dictionary that everybody said? Don’t give me the whole “well
if you take the “er” off the end it’s different, that’s crap! I believe we as a
society have the ability to get over stuff. Look how far we have come as a
society. We have a black president for goodness sake! Now that doesn’t mean
that racism and other things no longer exist. We as a society have problems,
but the problems are so much bigger than a word we all use. I don’t care about
what someone calls me as long as I’m free to call them something right back if
I’m childish! Or I have the ability not to answer to what I do not wish to be
called.
Come on folks, we have
much bigger issues than the issues of the past. We have a homeless issue, an
insurance issue, an abortion issue an education issue. Can we put all the
energy we put in labels into finding solutions to the problems that so plague
our Nation?
WARNING TO ALL PARENTS: ATHLETES ARE NOT ROLE MODELS
Enough is enough already! I’m sorry to offend some writers
and bloggers but athletes are not role models! Every time an athlete does
anything he or she isn’t suppose to do I hear the same lame phrase. “As a role
model he should have known better, millions of kids look up to him!” It’s a big
load of you know what. Listen, we are all human and from time to time we do
different things. Now, some of the things we do are good and positive and
that’s great, I personally wish I would only do good things and never bad. The
reality is we are all human and having the amazing ability to throw a ball 70
yards doesn’t somehow make us less human. That ability just makes some more
visible than others. I know a lot of great shooters in the N.B.A. and I would
love for my kids to learn to shoot with the deadly accuracy of say a Ray Allen
or Steph Curry. These two gentlemen have absolutely beautiful jump shots. They
connect with amazing accuracy, I love watching them play. When the game is over
I don’t want my kids to be like Allen or Curry off the court. Truth be told,
other than their jumper I don’t want them to act like them period. I am by no
means taking anything away from these two men; they seem to be great
ambassadors for the league.
What I’m saying is
that it’s their job to have a wicked jump shot; it’s my job to be the role
model. You know the person that helped bring them into this world. “Hi!” You
don’t hear very much about me but I’m the Parent! My job is to be the role
model or the person that my son or daughter looks up to when it comes to how to
best live their lives. I know it’s crazy but contrary to popular opinion I the
parent should have more access to my kid than sports figures do. As a parent
it’s great to be able to turn on the T.V. and say “Hey see that guy that just
threw down that thunderous dunk, I want you to be like him for a couple of
hours while I go to work. He should be all things to you! Model yourself after
him, there’s a future in it.” Sound ridiculous you say? Well that’s what fans
do all the time! Stop letting Lebron James raise your kids and get into the
fight. How about if we stop blaming A-rod for our kids having bad morals and
start spending more time with them to help shape said morals. I have absolutely
grown tired of the phrase “whether we like it or not athletes are role models.”
Says who? Who says they have to be? I mean if I’m raising my children the best
I can then I don’t need Wayne Gretsky to be my son’s role model. The choice to
give athletes the power to be role models is in whose hands? Who makes that
decision? Society? Circumstance? Economic Condition?
WRONG!!!! We as
parents make that decision. I want my kids to model the best they can Kobe’s
game not his stance on abortion or his after hour partying sessions! It’s entertainment;
there is no reason to make it something that it isn’t. Sports have the ability
to bring people together. How beautiful is it that people who can’t agree on
anything can agree on how great football is? It brings different ethnic groups
and races together like few other venues. It allows for so many people to relax
and take a break from the real world. Sports and the athletes that play them
are amazing and awesome but they are human beings who should be cheered and
celebrated for their accomplishments in their respected arenas of sport. I can’t
say it enough the one arena athletes should never be in is the ROLE MODEL ARENA
unless they are mothers and fathers themselves! Let’s play ball not let’s play
substitute parent!
Thursday, July 25, 2013
P.E.D.'s are good for Sports! Random Rants from a fed up Brotha!
It’s Entertainment: I’m sorry to make people mad but the
truth is it’s a product that is placed out there for our enjoyment. I go to
games to see athletes do amazing and extraordinary things! If taking a drug
makes them do it better, then why not? I believe the athlete should be made
well aware of the damage that can be caused by using certain chemicals on their
bodies. I want to see them running faster,hitting balls farther! It’s great
television!
“What do Morals have to do with it?” Listen, this is a
business. If you think someone isn't profiting off of these guys your nuts.
Check out how much these professional leagues have generated off of these drug
taking cheaters! It’s about money. Little Johnny shouldn't be looking up to a
Sports figure for what he does to his body behind closed doors. He should look
up to him for what he does on the field, period! When huge corporations stop
making Billions of dollars off of these players. When ESPN gives back the
millions, oh my bad, billions it makes from these athletes we can talk about
Morals then. If you’re watching sports because of the character of the people
playing it, then you’re watching for the wrong reason. I’m not watching my
pastor play football for 3 hours, I’m watching a trained professional play the
game he has dedicated his life to.
“The worst thing is they Lied about it!” This one may be the
most laughable of all. Of course they lied about it. Their human. When’s the
last time you went a year without lying about something. We all lie, every
single one of us. “Yeah baby, umm she’s just a friend of mine”. “I was at Bob’s
playing Monopoly last Friday night”. I don’t know about you but I personally
have flat out lied to avoid a sticky situation. Even when I knew that they knew,
I held on to that lie for dear life. I make penny candy money compared to these
guys and I lie. I can’t imagine why a guy making millions of dollars would?
Wow!
“They are cheaters taking the easy way out!” Ever seen what
it takes to make it in major sports? When’s the last time you went to the gym
from the time it opened till the time it closed? Lifted weights until you could
hardly stand? How many surgically repaired hips have you had to endure? They
worked their asses off to get to the point that the drugs could be of benefit
anyway! If there was a pill that could take an overweight guy like me and make
him Barry Bonds, there would be no need for Major league baseball. What would
be the point? If everybody could do it, it wouldn't be entertainment to me!
“It’s just bad for the game?” Which game we talking about?
We talking about the game in which millions of dollar are made because of the
athletes and what they accomplished? Or are we talking about the game that we
go play in our community on Sunday? How has the recent P.E.D’s scandal hurt the
millions of people who play the game for fun and no compensation? It hasn’t! I
can get a group of buddies together right now and go play a pickup game and
have a ball. We as a group would be enjoying the purity of the game. No cameras,
no endorsements just fun and friendship. Once I go watch a N.B.A. game ,that’s
a business of fun and entertainment! They get paid to provide a service and
they do whatever it takes to get an edge.
Finally you know what you hardly ever see? People in the
sports world talking about the athlete who has retired. This guy can barely
walk a mile without pain because of what he put his body through. How come
people aren't calling in to stations all across the country appalled at the
fact N.F.L. contracts are not guaranteed? You sign a multimillion dollar
contract, blow your knee out and your owed little or nothing from the league.
People don’t care about athletes, they care that they have someone to judge.
Someone they can hold up to a holy standard they themselves can’t reach!. Do yourselves
a favor folks, view it as entertainment and let it go!
Sunday, July 14, 2013
What If Lebron James Was Gay?
I was recently reading
an article about Jason Collins. The N.B.A player who announced he was gay. I
started to think to myself the following; What if it was a superstar who was
gay? Would it be a non-issue like most people in the league and the Press are
saying? If Lebron wore a bra would we look at the situation different? We are
talking about arguably the most talented athlete on the planet!
When I say bra I don’t
mean if the Lebron was a lady but what if after winning his second consecutive O’Brien
trophy he announced to the millions watching that he was gay? Keep in mind that
James is already the most scrutinized figure in sport as is. The constant
comparison’s to Jordan, his previous inability to perform in big games. The
ridiculous cries from the blood thirsty media that he lacks a killer instinct.
If Lebron was gay would we look at all sports different? Is that what it takes
to put this whole issue to bed?
Listen, I for one could
give a damn if a player is gay or straight, a descendent of Mars or Pluto, if
his jump shot is on point I say; “Put him in!” Truth is that’s my own personal
feeling but it’s more complicated then that I know. In team sports there is a
bonding between men that rarely occurs in other walks of life. If you don’t
believe me, try this. The next time a co-worker of yours does an amazing job at
work, walk up to him and say “good job dog” and slap him on his ass! This type
of behavior is routine in the sports world and is widely accepted as just part
of the game. Showering and walking
around the locker room guys trust that no other player is checking them out or
admiring their body. Guys even play pranks on each other in the shower. There
is a bond that is like no other between men in sports. Does a teammate who
knows another teammate is gay feel hesitant to play or act a certain way around
that teammate? Sure he does! Funny thing is that gay teammate probably isn’t
interested in the other player anyway but the elephant in the room has caused a
moment of pause.
I applaud Collins for
having the stone’s to come out and stand on that fragile ledge. However that
ledge becomes a 80 foot high tightrope walk if the athlete is at the top of his
profession. It’s my opinion that it will take a big time superstar in a major
sport to come out publicly, while in his prime, to really bring us together on
this matter. The key here is in his Prime!
“Why is it important he be in his prime?” you ask. Because the lights will be
on that athlete all the time and the world will constantly be reminded of the
circumstances surrounding him. “Why a Superstar?”
you ask. Well let me ask you this: Can you honestly say that with all the
movement that is going on in the N.B.A. right now that you have spent time
recently thinking or giving serious thought to the Jason Collins announcement? A
more prominent sports figure would force
us to consider our point of view on a very sensitive matter. I believe that
perception changes only when we have no other choice but to deal with the issue
head on.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Sweat To Swagg
If you love hoop like I do than you can’t wait to stand up
and defend the athletes and their behavior. While watching a recent N.B.A.
playoff game at a local bar, I was sitting next to a gentleman who was quite disturbed
by the way professional athletes showboat and make gestures that bring
attention to themselves. “Why does he have to slap his chest and stare like a freak at the crowd? Who does he think he is? Just
play the game!” After a thunderous reverse dunk the amazing athlete on the big
screen was in full out celebration. Waving his hand in the air and gesturing to
the crowd to get up, "The Rim Destroyer", is now on his way to the
bench as a timeout had just been called by the opposing teams coach. As I
slowly sip my foamy beer the gentlemen begins in again about the way today’s
athletes are so full of themselves and how they should “act like they have been
there before when they do something great or helpful for their squad”.
I am by nature a person that loves to debate and argue. O.k.,
that’s a lie. I’m a stubborn S.O.B who pounds his point of view down someone’s
throat until they walk away or take a swing at me! Knowing myself very well and
not wanting to cause a scene I think to myself. “It’s just SWAGG!!!!”
The gym in south beach is like any other gym in the world
that has a regulation size hoop. At the moment the 6’7 220 pound professional
bends his knee at the correct angle, catches the ball with his hands in the familiar
acceptance position and whizzes off another shot. This is number 425 and he won’t
stop until he has made 500 shots! Not till he shoots 500 shots, until he makes
500 shots! He will put up anywhere between 1,000 and 1,500 shots before the
nights over depending on his accuracy. SWEAT!
With the moonlight
casting upon his socked body he struggles to catch his breath. The hill he has
been conquering up and down for the last hour and a half is starting to show
signs of fatigue as the professional catches
his breath and begins his next trip up. Muscles aching and crying out for mercy
are ignored as the mad man races against himself to reach the top. It’s now 3:
30 in the morning eastern time. The birds that normally begin to land on the
park benches aren't even up yet as he powers thru his routine. SWEAT!
My point is the celebration isn’t always about the moment.
What it’s really about is the effort! On our screens we witness the likes of
Kobe Bryant taunting and show boating after fantastic plays. Lebron James
yelling as he demoralizes a lesser player on a nasty dunk. But when the camera
goes off we don’t see the millions of hours of practice on top of practice that
it took to put that athlete into a position to show boat. I mean doesn’t Seth
Curry have the right to grab a camera and look into it and say “My gosh I’m hot
right now?” He was the one in the gym shooting thousands of jumpers after
practice. What’s wrong with De’andre Jordan letting out a primal scream as he
races back down the court after posterizing an opponent? He was the one running
hills at 3 am to keep his legs strong and developed.
Listen, sometimes players can take it too far. For instance,
by not getting back on defense or getting a technical for taunting at a crucial
point in the game. When your swagg hurts the overall chemistry of your team I
could see how that would be looked down upon. But overall it must be noted that
swag is not the enemy! Turning sweat into swagg is the reason the League is what
it is today!
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